“My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.” —Clarence Budington Kelland
Blessings to all the dads who provide their children with the love, support, and nurturing that all children need. As another Father's Day goes by, I think it is important to recognize the true value of fathers in our lives.
Fathers have traditionally provided children with a safety net from which they have learned to explore, to take risks, and to expand our horizons as a society. Mothers have historically received the bulk of our attention and affection and rightfully so. Fathers have always been willing to accept their second-class status without much fuss, but imagine a world without fathers.
For too long we have had a one-sided conversation in America that men, in general, are optional and specifically the role of fathers in the lives of their children is overrated. Research has clearly shown that children do better with two engaged parents regardless of the race, finances, or education of the parents. Unfortunately, too many of our kids are being forced to grow up without the love, support and protection of their fathers and this is something we should not allow to happen.
Absentee fathers have become an American epidemic that reaches across racial, economic, and ethnic lines. This epidemic continues to grow with little or no media attention or action. Currently around 25% of our children are being raised without their fathers and for minority children the numbers are as high as 75%. This is a national tragedy that will lead to the suffering of millions of children in this country.
As I look back on my own life and think about all of the men that I came into contact with and how each one had a part in shaping who I am today, I wonder who the children of today will have to help shape their lives? You see I was fortunate enough to have a father in my home and also to have responsible men in my community who showed me each day the importance of being a responsible man.
We are created to be male and female, but we learn to become men and women. We learn by watching others, so in the absence of teachers how will we learn?
The mission of FOCUS North America's ReEngage Program, the life-skills ministry of FOCUS NA, is to reconnect absentee fathers with their children and to reduce the number of absentee father homes by equipping and empowering men to fulfill their mission. What is that mission? To become the men that God created them to be.
Unfortunately, there are too many men today who are suffering from anger and frustration from the separation of their children. They have nowhere to turn for support, understanding and healing. Through the FOCUS NA ReEngage Program's curriculum we provide an opportunity for these men to get the support, training and tools they need to begin the healing process. If we are to improve the lives of these men and their families, we should help facilitate this healing process so we can begin to break the cycle of absentee fathers and provide a stable, loving environment for all of our children.
Using our 12-session curriculum we create an atmosphere of healing for the men to be able to address the issues of anger, manhood, overcoming obstacles and breaking the cycles that have kept them from achieving their goals. We begin with the basics of “what is a man” and “what men do” and finish with each participant developing a personal improvement plan to use as they move forward. The men provide support for each other and help each other to create a place where all have value and are respected.
I hope that each and every father had a wonderful Father's Day, but while we are celebrating fathers let us not forget there are many fathers and children whose hearts are filled with sorrow from separation, neglect, and pain.
The Holy Prophet Elijah prophesized in Malachi 4: Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet. Before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD. And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers.
We need your help to begin this process of healing. Would you consider making a gift to the FOCUS NA ReEngage Program in the name of your father or some man who made a difference in your life?
Let us begin to give this epidemic the attention it deserves. If these children were suffering from some terrible disease or were the victims of some catastrophe we would stop at nothing to help them. Well, the epidemic of absentee fathers is just as devastating to our children, their futures, and our greater culture as well. All children deserve and need the spiritual, financial and emotional support of their fathers and today they need your help.
Director of FOCUS North America's ReEngage Program